Yesterday, one of my clients told me she was feeling so depressed and anxious, she wanted to kill herself. Literally.
Her mother called me on my attempt to sneak out of work early, and I selfishly asked, “Does she need to see me today, or can it wait until tomorrow?” Her mother said, “Sure, it can wait until tomorrow.” But then something kicked in – call it my conscience, or my intuition, or God smacking me upside the head – and I asked, “Do you know what happened today?” My client came on the phone and told me she felt like running away from home. I immediately made a u-turn back to the office. Mom still wanted to come the next day, but I insisted. Come now. No one calls their therapist out of the blue for a minute reason.
My client shows up and she tells me about her day. Suddenly wanting to “run away” turned into, “I’ve been having thoughts of cutting my wrists and killing myself and I keep trying not to think about it, but they just keep coming back to my head.”
In that moment, I had so much admiration for her because I saw a girl who desperately wanted to live and get better. Here is a girl who knows herself, knows when her emotions are not in control, and knows how to ask for help.
We played connect 4 for 20 minutes to calm her down while we waited for her mom to come pick her up. She couldn’t tell her mom directly because she was worried that her mom would be too worried, and that’s why she wanted to talk to me. So I could tell her mom. Smart girl. Able to navigate her systems to get her needs met.
She’s safe tonight at the hospital. I thank God that I was able to see her that day and He didn’t let my selfishness and laziness get in the way of protecting his beloved sheep.
